


All That Matters

by NamelesslyNightlock



Series: Going Down Swinging [64]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, BAMF Loki (Marvel), Bittersweet Ending, Canon Divergence - Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Desperation, Fear, Feels, Healing, Hopeful Ending, Infinity Gems, Loki (Marvel) Feels, Loki (Marvel) Gets a Hug, Loki (Marvel) Lives, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Loki (Marvel) to the rescue, Love Confessions, M/M, Minor Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Near Death Experiences, Pain, Pining, Pining Loki (Marvel), Possibly Unrequited Love, Reminiscing, Tony Stark Lives, Worried Loki (Marvel), powerful loki (marvel)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-26
Updated: 2020-06-26
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:35:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24927049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NamelesslyNightlock/pseuds/NamelesslyNightlock
Summary: As he watched Anthony fall with Infinity Stones in hand, Loki became broken, desperate, and willing to try anything –everything– to save the man he loved.Even if that man didn't love him back.
Relationships: Loki/Tony Stark
Series: Going Down Swinging [64]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1330490
Comments: 40
Kudos: 299





	All That Matters

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to **Rabentochter** and **BennyBatch** for helping with the summary ❤︎  
>   
>  **Prompt** — _“Yell, scream, cry, please, just say something, anything.”_

When Loki saw Anthony fall, it was as if his entire world had been torn asunder.

He’d known that he cared for the man– it wasn’t a sudden moment of realisation, not when he’d been perfectly aware of the feelings he had kept hidden for _years._ But it was a sudden burst of horror, the kind of ripping, heart-wrenching agony that felt as if a taloned hand had reached inside his chest and crushed his heart in a single blow.

Loki did not even think– he simply raced across the battlefield, uncaring of any of the others, of the Chitauri and Outriders that were still left alive. He had eyes only for the man who had fallen to the ground with six infinity stones upon his right hand.

Peter Parker had only just dropped down at Anthony’s side when Loki got there, his expression streaming with tears. But Loki had no eyes for the grieving boy, nor for Anthony’s weeping wife, not when—

“ _Anthony,”_ Loki gasped, taking the man’s seared face in his hands, staring at those now empty eyes. “Anthony, listen to me, you’re going to be all right—”

“Loki, stop.” The voice was as familiar as the hand that clasped his shoulder, but Loki shrugged it off without even turning to look. Thor didn’t know anything, he was just– he didn’t _know._

“Anthony, just talk to me,” Loki said, ignoring his brother entirely. But his words might as well have fallen on deaf ears, and Anthony’s usually expressive brown eyes were just… blank. It was almost as if everything that Anthony was had already left, and his shell of a body was merely holding on to empty life for a few seconds longer.

“ _Please,”_ Loki begged. “Anthony, I love you, I– I _need_ you, you can’t do this!”

The hush that had fallen across the battlefield might have been eerie, if Loki had been paying any attention to it. But he did not even see the way that the other Avengers all knelt to the ground, their own expressions broken as they grieved for the man who had saved them all.

The man who was _not yet gone._

He just—

He _couldn’t be._

“Did you not hear me?” Loki said, his hands gripping Anthony’s face so tightly now, it would leave bruises.

Would have, left bruises.

If…

_No._

“I said that I love you, Anthony, are you not going to respond to me, are you not going to tell me how much that _horrifies—”_ Loki cut off with a broken sob. Thor’s hand was on his shoulder again– but it would seem that Thor had accepted that he would not be able to get Loki to stop, because he didn’t try to pull Loki away.

The touch was clearly meant to be comforting, but it only made Loki’s skin crawl.

And still, Anthony said nothing. His breathing was laboured, his eyes were starting to close—

“ _No,”_ Loki snarled, pulling Anthony’s head back up. “Stay with me!”

Someone behind him was crying.

“Loki, stop, please, let him rest—”

 _Rest?_ No, Ms Potts’ heart might have been in the right place but Anthony had deserved rest _long_ ago, they should have all _left him alone—_

Except, if they’d done that, the world would never have been saved, half of the _universe_ would have stayed dead, and Loki knew that Anthony would have blamed himself for not doing enough, that it would have eaten away at him forever. This was– this was the only outcome that Anthony would have been able to live with.

But for that—

He had to be _alive—_

“Anthony, please, I’m begging you– yell, scream, cry, just say something, _anything—”_

“Loki, brother, this isn’t doing him or you any good—”

Loki snarled, and _finally_ reacted. He didn’t take his hands from Anthony’s face, wouldn’t lose even so much as a split second of contact when he didn’t know how long he had left– so he just let his seiðr explode out of him in a wave instead, forcing everyone back away from him in a sudden surge of power.

He could hear them shouting but—

Loki drew in a breath, and turned his gaze to the side.

Because Anthony _was_ dying, and there was nothing Loki could do to stop that.

Not by himself.

But… upon Anthony’s right hand lay the instruments of his demise– and with them, Loki would be able to undo the damage.

He heard shouting as he let go of Anthony’s face and took the man’s limp wrist before carefully, _carefully_ taking the Stones from the burned gauntlet.

Yes, Loki was aware of the risks. He knew that he was not strong enough to wield all six Stones– especially not without protection.

But he didn’t need _all_ of them.

Three would be enough.

Loki made his choices carefully, making sure that the combination would work.

 _Time_ , which heals all wounds—

 _Soul_ , to bring Anthony _back_ just the same as he was—

And _Reality_ , to make sure that every change Loki made would stay as it was, and would _not_ wear away the moment that the Stones were moved out of Anthony’s vicinity.

Loki would make sure that everything he did was _real,_ that it wouldn’t be able to be changed. And oh, he _knew_ that what he was doing broke every rule of the universe, that it risked far more than just his broken heart.

But Loki did not _care._

He took the three Stones in his hand, he allowed the power to course through his very being, and he focused on everything he knew of the man that he loved.

He pictured Anthony’s smile, he heard the bright tenor of his voice. He listened for his wit, he remembered his charm, he _felt_ the way that Anthony always managed to brighten every conversation just with his presence—

Well, he always had for Loki, at least.

Loki felt his own lips curl up as he reminded himself of how Anthony could turn anyone’s words back around upon them, how he could outwit a master of manipulation. The way that Anthony did not just command a room– he _owned_ it, forcing everyone to pay attention to him even when they resented doing so.

There was a darkness in Anthony, yes, but to Loki’s eyes, it had only served to highlight the _good–_ for Anthony was not only one of the best, but also one of the most interesting people that Loki had ever met.

And when he came back, Loki would make sure that there was _nothing_ missing.

Although, if he made a few additions here and there as he went… well, surely no one would be able to blame him.

When he was done, Loki’s fingers opened with a broken cry, his hand reddened and bleeding. The Stones fell to the ground, losing their glow. But Loki didn’t care for them now that they’d done their job, and he didn’t care for the pain. Anthony’s wounds were healed but– his eyes were closed his chest remained still.

Loki felt bile rising up his throat, felt the walls of the Nine closing in upon him as everything he cared about just crumbled to dust—

Then Anthony gasped, his eyes flying open as he stared and—

“Loki?”

 _“Anthony—”_ Loki’s reply was no more than a groan, and he fell forward against the other man with a muffled sob.

Anthony’s hands were hesitant as they pressed against Loki’s back, but Loki didn’t _care._ All that mattered was that Anthony was alive, he was back, he wasn’t going to die.

Loki had saved him– and had made sure that he would live for a long while yet.

“Oh my god, oh my _god, Tony!”_

The others were hurrying forward, but Loki did not move—

He just clung to the man he had almost lost, uncaring of how it looked. Everyone present had already seen his earlier display, and besides—

If it meant that he had managed to bring Anthony back from the brink, then there was absolutely nothing that Loki could bring himself to regret. Not that he’d declared his devotion to a man who did not love him back in so much more than just words—

It didn’t matter, because Anthony was going to be _all right._

And so long as that was true, then Loki would be able to keep moving forward—

Whether he remained alone or not.


End file.
